Riding the Waves: How to Handle Emotions Without Getting Pulled Under
Emotions can feel overwhelming, like waves crashing over us and knocking us off balance. When sadness, anxiety, or anger swell inside, it is natural to want to fight them, push them away, or run from them. But most of us know from experience that this rarely works for long. The harder we resist, the stronger those waves can feel. What if instead of battling the waves, we learned how to ride them?
Many of us grew up hearing that certain emotions are “bad” or “too much.” So when they show up, we do everything we can to escape them. We distract ourselves, overthink, numb, or scroll endlessly. These things might give temporary relief, but they do not help us live a life that feels meaningful or connected. Avoidance often looks like safety, but in reality it pulls us further away from what we want most—our values, our relationships, and the goals that give life direction.
Think of emotions like waves in the ocean. They rise, they peak, and they fall. No wave lasts forever, even if it feels huge in the moment. We do not get to control the ocean, and we do not get to control emotions. But just as surfers do not try to stop the waves, we can learn how to balance with them and move through them. Learning to “surf” emotions is about developing willingness. Willingness is the skill of letting ourselves feel without being swept away or letting the feeling take charge of how we act.
Practical Ways to Ride the Waves
Here are some simple ways to begin practicing:
Notice and name it. Pause and acknowledge what is here: “This is sadness” or “This is anxiety.” Naming creates a little space between you and the feeling.
Come back to your breath. Use the rhythm of your breath as an anchor, steadying you like a surfboard under your feet.
Notice where it lives in your body. Maybe your chest feels tight, your jaw clenches, or your stomach churns. Get curious about the sensations without trying to change them.
Allow the wave to crest and fall. Feel it rise, and let it move through. Every wave eventually passes.
Choose your response. From this steadier place, ask: What matters most right now? How do I want to show up, even with this feeling here?
When we stop struggling with emotions, we open space for something else, freedom to act in line with our values, even when discomfort is present. This is where resilience grows. Not in controlling the waves, but in learning how to ride them.
The next time you feel pulled under by a strong emotion, picture yourself on a surfboard. Feel the wave rise and fall. Remember that no wave lasts forever. You can ride it and still move toward the life you want. If you are ready to learn more about how to handle emotions with less struggle and more compassion, therapy can be a supportive place to practice these skills. Reach out today to begin the process of learning how to ride your own waves with more steadiness and care.