Letting Go of Cannabis: When Your Coping Tool Feels Like a Best Friend
I was inspired to write this blog after noticing how often cannabis use comes up in my therapy practice. Many clients share that they use it to cope either with anxiety, sleep, stress, or just getting through the day. It often comes up during intake sessions, and at first, most clients aren't ready or even interested in changing their use. They’re coming to therapy for anxiety, depression, or relationship challenges, and cannabis feels like a tool that helps them manage those struggles.
But as we begin the deeper work, something shifts. Clients start to notice that the very thing they’ve relied on to cope is also starting to get in the way of healing. They say things like, “It doesn’t really help anymore,” or “It’s starting to make things harder.” So, I ask them what they belive the purpose of their use might be. At first, the answer is usually, “I don’t know. There isn’t one.” But when we slow down and get curious, something opens up. Clients begin to talk about their cannabis use as if it were a friend. A protector. A lifeline. The thing that helps them fall asleep. The thing that quiets the noise. The thing that helps them feel less alone. And that – that is the reason. And it's also where the work begins.
So than the question becomes: How do you let go of something that feels like a best friend when it’s also starting to hurt you or hold you back?
The point is not to pathologize your coping mechanisms, I understand it. Substances like cannabis aren’t the problem. They’re the solution that worked for a while. They helped you feel something… or feel nothing. They helped you escape pain, fear or boredom. They helped you survive.
But over time, that short-term relief can start to take a toll:
You feel foggy or disconnected from yourself
Your relationships suffer
Your values get buried
You wonder if you're actually living or just numbing
That’s when it’s time to ask: What is this costing me?
And just as importantly: What am I longing for that this substance is pretending to offer?
Letting go doesn’t mean hating the substance or shaming yourself for using it. It means telling the truth. It means naming what it gave you. It means grieving the role it played while creating space for something new. And it means learning to stay present with the parts of you that are hurting, without trying to numb or fix them.
ACT Principles to Support this Process
Make Space for Urges, Don’t Fight Them - Urges are like waves they rise, crest and fall. You don’t need to panic or engage them. You can notice the urge without following it. Name it. Breathe through it. Let it pass. Try and say this “I’m having the urge to use. I don’t have to act on it.”
Come Back to What Matters - When the craving feels loud, ask yourself: What kind of person do I want to be? What matters to me more than this moment of relief? Let your values and not your fear be your guide to the next small step.
Practice Willingness, Not Avoidance - Instead of trying to get rid of discomfort, what if you allowed it to be here without it controlling your behavior? Discomfort is hard, but it’s also survivable. And you don’t have to go through it alone.
Letting go of cannabis or any substance is not just about quitting, it’s about healing. It's about learning new ways to cope, connect and care for yourself. It’s about becoming someone who no longer needs to escape their life to tolerate it. Yes, that process is hard, but it's also incredibly human. And you're not behind. You're just beginning.
If you’re ready to explore your relationship with cannabis or any substance in a compassionate, nonjudgmental space, I’d be honored to walk alongside you. This work is not about shame or blame. It’s about choice, clarity and change. Reach out to schedule a free 15-minute consultation. You don’t have to do this alone. Change doesn’t come from fighting yourself, rather it comes from befriending the parts of you that hurt and choosing to move toward something deeper, truer and more alive.