The Lyrics I Didn't Know I Needed: A Reminder to Return to What Matters

The other day, I was driving my son to summer camp, and like many mornings, we had music playing in the car. This time, though, I decided to switch things up and listen to the Billboard Top Songs of 2026 instead of our usual playlist.

One song came on that caught me completely off guard: "Be Her" by Ella Langley. Within seconds, I felt tears welling up, and I wasn't sure why.

Nothing particularly emotional had happened that morning. It was just another drive to camp. But something about the lyrics stayed with me. Later that day, I listened to the song again, this time paying closer attention to the words. That's when I understood. The song wasn't simply about another person.

For me, the song became a reminder of something I talk about with my clients every day: our deep desire to become the person we know we are capable of being.

Not the version shaped by other people's expectations.

Not the version driven by fear, perfectionism, or self-doubt.

But the version that feels most true.

We All Drift Away From Ourselves

As a therapist, I often hear people say things like

"I don't even know who I am anymore."

"I feel like I've lost myself."

"I don't know what I want."

"I'm just going through the motions."

Sometimes people believe they have anxiety, that they are burned out, or that they need more motivation.

While those experiences are certainly real, I have found that underneath them is often something deeper.

It's surprisingly easy to drift away from our values. Somewhere along the way, we lose ourselves, and life becomes more about survival than living with intention. Our responsibilities multiply, our careers become more demanding, our children need attention, our parents age, and our expectations grow. Eventually, we take a step back and realize that the life we're living looks successful from the outside but feels disconnected on the inside.

Pain Can Be a Compass

One of the things I appreciate most about Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) is that it views emotional pain differently.

Pain isn't always something to eliminate.

Sometimes it's information.

When we feel disconnected, empty, restless, or stuck, our minds often tell us that something is wrong with us.

But what if those feelings are actually pointing us toward something important? What if they are inviting us to ask, "Am I living in line with the person I want to be?"

Sometimes our discomfort is a sign that we've moved away from our values, and perhaps that discomfort isn't the enemy, but rather it's the invitation.

Finding Your Way Back

One of the biggest misconceptions about therapy is that it's about becoming someone new.

In my experience, it is often the opposite.

It's about remembering: remembering what matters, remembering the person you want to be and the relationships you want to nurture, remembering the life you want to build. Looking back, I wondered whether those tears were inviting me to pay attention. Was there an area of my life where I had drifted from what mattered most? I don't know the full answer yet, but the question itself felt important.

ACT does not ask us to wait until we feel confident before taking action; rather, it asks us to clarify our values and begin moving toward them, even when fear, doubt, anxiety, or uncertainty come along for the ride.

This is because courage isn't the absence of fear; it's moving toward what matters despite it.

A Song That Made Me Pause

It is amazing to me how something as simple as a song can stop us in our tracks.

For me, that drive to summer camp became an unexpected reminder to pause and ask myself: Am I living in accordance with what matters most to me?

It is a question I return to often, and not only for myself, but also with the people I work with every day. None of us stay perfectly aligned with our values all the time. We all drift.

The important part isn't avoiding the drift; it's noticing it. And then gently choosing our way back.

So here's my invitation to you. Take a few minutes to listen to "Be Her," not to analyze it and not to decide whether you like the artist.

I want you to simply notice.  What emotions come up?

What thoughts does your mind offer?

And perhaps most importantly: What is your heart trying to remind you about the person you want to be?

If you've been feeling like you've drifted from yourself, therapy can be a place to pause, reconnect with what matters most, and begin taking meaningful steps toward the life you want to live. As a clinical psychologist, I work with adults who are ready to better understand themselves, heal from past experiences, and create lives that feel more aligned with their values. If you're ready to take that next step, I'd be honored to work with you.